Ma'am vs Miss
Women I think of any age don't like being called Ma'am . It's funny how in the south it's used as a sign of respect. And the British use it as a term of address for high ranking female officers or the Queen. Here in New York most, if not all women see it as referring to them being old.
I find it strange that depending on how I'm dressed or how my hair is colored will usually determine if I am called Miss or Ma'am, For me is goes deeper then it being an age reference thing. It' has become a pet peeve of mine. I absolutely cannot stand the word! Mostly because everyone here in New York uses it incorrectly!.I remember some years ago I was in a CVS store and one of the employees kept calling me Ma'am. Mind you she was older then I was. It really was driving me up the wall, especial since I was only 22 or 25 at the time. I know some of you are thinking well their just trying to give good customer service and be polite. I get it,but good customer service is also about knowing which terms to refer to the customer as. And if the person is in their early 20's, I don't believe Ma'am applies!
And do you know why most women here in New York see it as a term for being old. Because it is used as such. You can be in a store and if you are over the age of 30 most of the time you will be referred to as Ma'am. The girl right next to you could be one year younger and she is a Miss.
When I worked in customer service I caught on very fast by looking at the faces of the customers when I referred to some as Ma'am. You could tell they didn't like it. And since I didn't like being called it myself, I just started calling all women, of all ages, Miss- They all seemed to respond to that happily.
Also in customer service I noticed that in most stores women who were more affluent would use the word Ma'am on the customer service people. As if to remind us that we were in our late 20's or 30's and working a shit job and somehow beneath them. You could tell by the way they would say it. Example: I had a lady come in and she was asking me questions with a bit of attitude and overusing the word Ma'am. When it came time for me to respond, I decided to call her Ma'am. And I did not just call her Ma'am, but I overused the word the way she had been. I even said it loudly, the same way she had been doing to me the entire time.Oh My God, her face.You could see it was pissing her off. She had that look like how dare a peon like you call me Ma'am. We were both using the word with underlying hidden insults back and forth,hehe
Even older women seem to not like it. I was out with this guy that I was dating at the time and he held the door open for this lady. She was maybe 50 -60 yrs old. He said "there you go Ma'am " As he held the door open. She stop and turned around to him and said "Ma'am? Where ?, Where do you see a Ma'am'' She was smiling and wasn't really mad. In a humorous way she just wanted to let him know she didn't like the term.
I use to think it was only women who had issues with those types of references. I was talking to a guy about women not liking the whole Ma'am thing and he said men have that same issues with being called Sir. I was like really? I never knew that, I always thought Sir sounded fancy. He said after a certain age it makes men feel old to be called Sir. I was shocked, go figure!
I use to work in this store and this very flamboyant gay guy would come in and he would refer to all the women as Madam. I liked it! For awhile I use to call all the female customers Madam they use to get a hoot out of it! But not Ma'am that they all pretty much hated that!
If I was running a seminar on how to teach employees good customer service. My first suggestion would be remove Ma'am from your vocabulary. I have never once met any woman who ever liked being called that. At any age! Even young ones will look at you like your stupid if you call them that. That's why I thought it odd when that lady kept saying it to me when I was 22yrs old. Anyway that's my two cents on the subject.
I find it strange that depending on how I'm dressed or how my hair is colored will usually determine if I am called Miss or Ma'am, For me is goes deeper then it being an age reference thing. It' has become a pet peeve of mine. I absolutely cannot stand the word! Mostly because everyone here in New York uses it incorrectly!.I remember some years ago I was in a CVS store and one of the employees kept calling me Ma'am. Mind you she was older then I was. It really was driving me up the wall, especial since I was only 22 or 25 at the time. I know some of you are thinking well their just trying to give good customer service and be polite. I get it,but good customer service is also about knowing which terms to refer to the customer as. And if the person is in their early 20's, I don't believe Ma'am applies!
And do you know why most women here in New York see it as a term for being old. Because it is used as such. You can be in a store and if you are over the age of 30 most of the time you will be referred to as Ma'am. The girl right next to you could be one year younger and she is a Miss.
When I worked in customer service I caught on very fast by looking at the faces of the customers when I referred to some as Ma'am. You could tell they didn't like it. And since I didn't like being called it myself, I just started calling all women, of all ages, Miss- They all seemed to respond to that happily.
Also in customer service I noticed that in most stores women who were more affluent would use the word Ma'am on the customer service people. As if to remind us that we were in our late 20's or 30's and working a shit job and somehow beneath them. You could tell by the way they would say it. Example: I had a lady come in and she was asking me questions with a bit of attitude and overusing the word Ma'am. When it came time for me to respond, I decided to call her Ma'am. And I did not just call her Ma'am, but I overused the word the way she had been. I even said it loudly, the same way she had been doing to me the entire time.Oh My God, her face.You could see it was pissing her off. She had that look like how dare a peon like you call me Ma'am. We were both using the word with underlying hidden insults back and forth,hehe
Even older women seem to not like it. I was out with this guy that I was dating at the time and he held the door open for this lady. She was maybe 50 -60 yrs old. He said "there you go Ma'am " As he held the door open. She stop and turned around to him and said "Ma'am? Where ?, Where do you see a Ma'am'' She was smiling and wasn't really mad. In a humorous way she just wanted to let him know she didn't like the term.
I use to think it was only women who had issues with those types of references. I was talking to a guy about women not liking the whole Ma'am thing and he said men have that same issues with being called Sir. I was like really? I never knew that, I always thought Sir sounded fancy. He said after a certain age it makes men feel old to be called Sir. I was shocked, go figure!
I use to work in this store and this very flamboyant gay guy would come in and he would refer to all the women as Madam. I liked it! For awhile I use to call all the female customers Madam they use to get a hoot out of it! But not Ma'am that they all pretty much hated that!
If I was running a seminar on how to teach employees good customer service. My first suggestion would be remove Ma'am from your vocabulary. I have never once met any woman who ever liked being called that. At any age! Even young ones will look at you like your stupid if you call them that. That's why I thought it odd when that lady kept saying it to me when I was 22yrs old. Anyway that's my two cents on the subject.
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